I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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