a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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