I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
