It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
