I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
