DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
