It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
