I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize