i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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