my vag is so smooth its legendary
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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