Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Drunk is not a location!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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