last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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