I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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