Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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