At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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