you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
