We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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