Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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