There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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