her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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