Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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