her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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