I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
