Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
