Don't you send me to vm
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize