I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
