Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
