I think I died a long time ago.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I love you. Go after that dick
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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