Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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