we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
