id be glad to
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
