we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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