yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
