marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
