5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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