the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
