WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
