Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
