"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
