this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
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I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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