Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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