AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
