3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The Olympian is in my bed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
