I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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