i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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