Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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