dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Alive.
So much puke
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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