i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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