Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
