oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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