how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
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There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
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She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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