yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
