Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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