im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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