I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
