You're my little dorito
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
