oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
