Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
