Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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